Sura An-Nisa'

"But Allah knows your enemies very well. Allah is enough as a friend, and Allah is enough as a supporter"

Verse 45.

Embracing this verse, I realised that, It is not about the lack of obligation(or need) to find companions. You should not be apathetic about people, but you have to have this embedded in your heart. That the Almighty is ultimately, enough, and the rest, is not insignificant. Au contraire dear sir, they are the extras that He has blessed you with.

Thank you for the opportunity.

The opportunity I've been blessed with to find what I really thirst for. The search can perhaps be described as a never ending one, nevertheless, I've narrowed down the few things I am certain of.

Certainty is a funny word.

To be sure of yourself is an enormous responsibility. You have to make sure you don't transgress the boundaries of certainty and conceit. You have to draw the line between confidence and arrogance.

To get even near that stage of self assurance, is not easy to begin with. It requires standing by principles regardless of any obstacle, it requires tremendous knowledge and exposure. It requires a lot of consideration.

I've met very few people who are very sure of themselves. Out of the few, only 1 or 2 are substantial.
The rest, are just misconceptions.

The issue on complacency.

It has become a norm for people to select a good deed/thought/advice that suits them or that agrees with them when this is not what the overall context of goodness is all about.

The main challenge is to seek something that completely disagrees, and understand why such an event occurs. From there you can improve. The way to truly embrace your faith is not by consoling yourself with something you can relate to, that will only keep you in your little bubble, that will only breed complacency within.

Just understand that, if you truly give your all to the Almighty, then you wouldn't be affected by the trivial that falls upon you as much as you would be by things that really matter.
This is nothing but a mere generalization. We are only human, we are affected by different things in varying magnitudes.

Surah Al-An'am

I don't know how to describe this Surah accurately. The Quran is full of stories but this surah struck a different chord with me. I was intensely angry with the level of ignorance evident today, and perhaps I was even more frustrated knowing that I let myself contribute to this societal cancer. In an attempt to calm myself down, I opened the Quran, and found this verse:

"If their dislike is hard on you, then see if you can seek a tunnel in the ground or a ladder to the sky, so that you can bring them a sign. (You know) if Allah willed, Allah could have gathered them on the guidance. So do not be like the ignorant. "

6:35 Surah Al-An'am

This verse to me, is extremely powerful and I don't think my interpretation can do justice to it(even that is an understatement).
Just to be clear, The interpretation is obvious but I really hate to appear using Quranic verses to justify my actions or to make myself feel better because it's parallel to my actions/thoughts.

This verse calmed me down for 1 reason: it was a solution.

You are not entitled to be angry at those who challenge your thoughts whether rightfully or not. You have no liberty to ridicule the ignorant. They are not deserving of your judgment because "If Allah willed, Allah could have gathered them on guidance" and to top it all perfectly "So do not be like the ignorant" because firstly, ignorance is the source of moral decadence but the ignorant can turn into the conscious and the scariest part is vice versa.

At one point I did feel like it's easier to hide knowledge and consciousness because sometimes it repels people (real scientific research has proven so). Once you start hiding, you stop yearning to know more because sharing or application of knowledge is ultimately the end to this means. So the best thing to do is stated already in that verse. Don't perceive to remain the guided one forever, don't past judgment on others and most importantly, enrich yourself with knowledge even when others fail to do so because only Allah knows what our thoughts are.

The Poets (Ash-Shuara)

I simply must share with you the beauty of this Surah called As-Shuara which means The Poets. It's simply a wondrous and humbling scripture.

I love reading the stories in Quran and Ash-Shuara happens to be a compilation of stories. One of my favorite parts in this surah is the story of Moses and Pharaoh. The story begins from the 4/5th verse. It's basically about God sending Moses to the folk of Pharaohs ( the non-believers) to revert them back to God. I'm sure most of us are familiar with the miraculous stick that turned into a large serpent when thrown and parted the sea upon his smite. If you remember, before they escaped Pharaoh, he challenged Moses to a wizardry competition against his best wizards as he thought the serpent was just a magic trick. So when the time came, Moses asked the wizards to throw whatever it is that they wanted to throw :

Then Moses threw his staff and lo! it swallowed that which they did falsely show. (45) And the wizards were flung prostrate, (46) Crying: We believe in the Lord of the Worlds, (47) The Lord of Moses and Aaron. (48) (Pharaoh) said: Ye put your faith in him before I give you leave. Lo! he doubtless is your chief who taught you magic! But verily ye shall come to know. Verily I will cut off your hands and your feet alternately, and verily I will crucify you every one. (49) They said: It is no hurt, for lo! unto our Lord we shall return. (50) Lo! we ardently hope that our Lord will forgive us our sins because we are the first of the believers. (51)

What amazes me is that, without even a moment of hesitation, the wizards, who are the closest most obedient followers of the Pharaoh, fell down to their knees and begged for forgiveness (refer to the bold sentences). No thinking, hey wait, maybe there is another God other than Pharaoh, or hey maybe Moses is really the messenger, or hmmm I might need to go through all the facts again. The very moment they saw what had happened, they knew that Moses' God, is Rabbil'Alamin (God of the universe).

Firstly, to think that, the wizards at that time weren't the plain dodgy magicians you witness today, they were the true intellects, the ministers, the think tank of the government, and the fact that they were flung prostrate by one revelation is just indescribable. Relative to our generation, who not only lack knowledge and the thirst for it, we not only doubt, we also try to avoid accepting what is evident just to justify our profanity.

It just comes to show how ignorant society has become. Our questions don't come from genuine curiosity but from the fear of inconvenience. We speak with style but without substance and we often prefer lies and hesitate truths. This surah is truly enlightening.

The Guilt

Today Dad got stung by some bees(or hornettes ,who can tell the difference…actually I can, but let’s not get carried away). I got so worried as it reminded me of my grandmum.

The story goes,

My grandmum passed away when I was 15, in my home. She first collapsed in Penang where her home was and was taken by the ambulance here for treatment. She went into a coma before finally breathing her last.

Few months before her death, she came to stay with us here in Subang Jaya. I loved her dearly, but I was another idiotic teenager at that time and did not appreciate her presence as much as I should. 5 years after her death, I still get infuriated thinking about it.

Skipping other details of the story, one day, my grandmum went for her daily walk around the neighborhood when she stumbled upon a beehive. A man tried to warn her to avoid the hive, but unfortunately, she didn’t understand. So, a swarm of bees attacked her ruthlessly. No one was there to help her. She had no way to reach us. So she had to walk a kilometer back home, in agony, with probably a 100 stings all over her body. We immediately went to the doctor to get her treated.

Things were fine after that. She looked healthy; she was as loving as any grandmum could be. She was in constant need of love and attention which most of us were extremely ignorant about. The sole reason why I can recall this so clearly is because; I was at the phase where Grandmums were uncool, unimportant and sometimes an embarrassment. I didn’t spend that much of my time with her, and even when I did, it barely felt sincere. Acknowledging the fact that I was one of her favorite granddaughters, stupidity and shallowness still triumphed everything else that mattered.

So a few months after, her (our)Creator took her soul back, and even though I believe this was fate, that birth and death is “maktub” yakni written, I still couldn’t forgive myself for those times of neglect. I could have been there when she got stung.

Sometimes, I believe that the stings from the bees had really been the cause of death. Sometimes I believe my lack of prayers had given her less reason to live.

Of course, all those times in doubt, I revert back to God, as I believe He knows best.

Even so, I don’t think it’s completely wrong to blame myself, because, I learn from all the guilt. I do not use it as a tool to make me feel better, but more of a strategy to improve. The occasional breakdowns from thinking about her are inevitable. Whatever it is, at least I have my prayers to offer.